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Want bigger boobs? Get a boob job

'Dimple jobs' have become more popular since Cheryl Cole hit the scene, and now boob jobs are clambering up the popularity stakes. Luckily for us girls - who without drastic surgery would wrinkle into old age like a battered slipper (imagine, the horror!), there's one type of boob job that doesn't require a knife. The Ann Summers 'instant boob job bra' uses 'technology' to create a cleavage of epic proportions. A spokesman describes the science behind the breakthrough:
'We have finally discovered a technology that lets women achieve a cleavage without compromising on comfort. Unlike other enhancing bras, the unique microbead technology is ultra light and actually moulds to the shape of your breast and is shaped with a super plunge for maximum cleavage factor. You want an instant boob job - you've got one.' Phew, it sounds more like a Nat Geo documentary than lingerie...
Anyway, we'll withhold judgement till we've tried it. In the meantime, Marks and Spencer (our undy-brand of choice) is launching a similar contraption called the 'Add 2 Cup Sizes'. Can you guess what it does? No? Back to the start of the article...